I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
