My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
