just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
