I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
