I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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