How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
