its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
