Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
