marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
