She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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