i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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