it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
