OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
