if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
