how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize