Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
