How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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