so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
