I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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