I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You took a bar mat shot.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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