My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
