We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
