Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
