is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
