Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
