it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
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Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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