fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
