Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize