He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
