i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
