Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
