That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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