at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
