i just had sex bonerless
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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