i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize