someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I need moral support for this bender
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
