Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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