It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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