Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
