No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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