No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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