so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
