me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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