I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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