That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize