drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
