worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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