Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize