i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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