im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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