It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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