My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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