By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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