garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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