So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize