Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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