Having a random hookup so left but love u
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
